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Learn About Which Men To Avoid

If you would like personal support and coaching in setting up your profile or dating on line. Contact me today for your free 30 minute consultation.

How do you know if the person you are talking to on line is genuine?

Once again, I am going to start with you and not the bad types. I meet lots of women, and I used to be one of them, that was not very good at recognising men to avoid. It use to be that if I had a bad feeling or some evidence that a date was not good for me, I found it difficult to set boundaries. So, part of being able to recognise the wrong ones is being an assertive and boundaried person.

If you have a tendancy to fall for the wrong types, I would be more concerned with addressing the chinks in your armour than looking for love at the moment. Your boundaries and assertiveness will go a long way in keeping you safe, so don’t underestimate how much you need these traits and skills.

You can ask yourself: Why did my previous relationship not work out? For example, was he controlling or obsessive? Was it his hang ups or bad behavior once you got to know him better? Now think right back: What were some of the first initial warning signs? What was missing in your responses to how he treated you? In future, how can you find out about these and similar things in a subtle way in the conversation?

If you need help with this, contact me to arrange some coaching sessions.

So what are some of the traits and behaviours that you need to be aware of? Some of these seem obvious and easy to avoid but like many things in life, being in the moment dealing with it, can be a very different experience.

So types to avoid are those who: Are always too busy to email you back and when they do it’s a short disapointing message. They are letting you know they are too busy to get to know you, so don’t feel obliged to be accomodating.Put down other women they have met on the website, what makes you think you won’t be next?Email you all about sex, it’s obvious what they are looking forConsistently act oddly. For example, they are poor at keeping to instant messenger dates. Or they keep you waiting on im for ages before replying back, or they suddenly have to come off line. If this is consistent behaviour they might have something to hide, namely you!Are guarded about what they share but want to know all about youHave inconsisent stories. Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification! Someone who is lying can only keep it up if they are with someone who withdraws and refuses to confront them on itTell you they are not looking for a serious relationship – believe themTell you they are just curious and looking around – believe themStalk youTell you that though they hardly know you they have fallen in love after just a couple of emails. They are right, they don’t know you and they need to be reminded of that. You want a reality based relationship not a fantasy one.Don’t want to answer your questions and allow you to get to know them. Send email responses but read as if they were written for someone else. This type of ‘form’ letter explains that he is a pilot and, how he is looking for a soul mate but nothing written personally about you. He probably sent the same email to a dozen other women.Nevers ask you questions or seem to be interested in getting to know you but writes long emails about his life and interestsNever has a picture posted and keeps finding excuses that he has not had a photo taken in 20 years, or keeps sending you bad copies that require a microscope to see his face!Sends a yep, nope response....Talks constantly about past relationships and doesn’t have much room to get to know youComplains about other women but tells you how lovely you are. Dangeroud charm becuase it can make one feel special and ‘different’ but pay more attention to why his is complaining about other womenWastes your time - he won’t pursue anything beyond an email and doesn’t seem interested in meeting with you Wants to be friends but dating others, why is he motivated to date others but not you?Tells you that he is on a dating site just looking for friends and has loads of friends on the site and wants to add you to his list. If you want another friend that is great but don’t develop any expecatations beyond that. Believe him. Feels it is his duty to pray and minister to you because he feels called to be on the site to support others. Yet this is not what his profile states. Don’t look at any prospects of something more meaningful to develop. He has let you know where you stand with him. Some of men are no genuine. They are preying on the vulnerable so be careful about opening up your prayer needs.Profile says his is looking for someone and when you email they are not sure what they want. Gets nasty when you say no! Makes detrimental commments about your profile or uses sarcastic, put down humour as an opening lineDoes nothing to pursue you. You are doing all the hard work and it feels that if you stopped he would not bother. The only way you are going to know if what you are feeling is true is to test it out and/or confront him about how you feel. Acts like a victim of ‘evil’ women who have treated him roughly and hopes that you will do a better job. Has just left his wife two weeks agoIs single but still living with his wife or partnerWants to skip on line dating and get right to im and your private emailLastly, make sure you are not behaving in any of the same ways! Live your best life because you will be rewarded with good things!

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