Have you heard people say how loving and kind their partner was when they first started dating and that they never thought he would be someone who was dangerous or someone they did not want to be with?

At the beginning of a relationship couples go through what we call a 'honey moon' period where everything is warm and fuzzy and the focus is on putting on their 'best side'. Though this is considered a normal part of developing romantic relationships it does have its downside.

During this period we might overlook behaviour that make us feel uncomfortable because we do not want to offend or appear to be making a fuss. We may also be attached to the qualities that we love and admire in our partner and feel confused as to what to do about the things that are causing concern.

Dangerous or unhealthy behaviour does not just appear. It is present in the person that we are developing an attachment to and appears and grows over time as the relationship develops. That is why it is very important even during the 'honeymoon' period to know what the early warning signs are before you feel too afraid to do anything about it. Even if you have reached that stage, you can still take measures to reach out for help and get the support that you need.

As a survivor of domestic abuse, I know that there are many things you can do to help yourself that will empower you to avoid developing relationships with unsafe people. Building a strong sense of self, confidence and self esteem, developing communication skills and learning about safe and unsafe behaviour will go a long way in helping you develop the relationships you want and avoiding those that will diminish you.